If you’ve ever been through a deployment, you know it’s a journey. Not just in time, but emotionally – because let’s be real, deployment is basically an extreme sport for your feelings. One minute, you’re holding it together like a champ, and the next, you’re crying into your coffee because your partner’s toothbrush is still in the bathroom.
So, in the spirit of honesty (and survival), let’s break down the emotional stages of deployment – the real, the raw, and the slightly ridiculous.
1. The Dramatic Goodbye (Aka, “I’m Fine, It’s Fine”)
It doesn’t matter if it’s your first deployment or your fifth – the goodbye always stings. You tell yourself you won’t cry, you’ll be strong… and then suddenly, you’re sitting in the car in the driveway sobbing all over your sunglasses.
They leave. You ugly cry. You wonder how you’re going to survive this. You remind yourself you always do.
2. The “I’ve Got This” Phase
This is the motivated phase. You make lists. You set goals. You deep-clean the house because this time, you’re going to be the most organised, thriving version of yourself.
You sign up for things. You plan projects. You tell yourself you’ll meal prep every Sunday. You’re unstoppable.
(This energy lasts anywhere from three days to two weeks. Then reality kicks in.)
3. The “Why Is Everything Breaking?!” Stage
This is when life tests you. The car makes a weird noise. The washing machine floods. The internet stops working. The kid discovers permanent markers and thinks tattoos are awesome.
It’s like the universe knows your partner is gone and decides to see how much chaos you can handle. You manage… barely. With a little swearing.
4. The Sweet Spot (aka, “Look at Me, Thriving”)
At some point, you hit your groove. The house stays cleaner (because someone isn’t leaving socks everywhere). You binge-watch your shows without guilt. The routine is predictable, and you start feeling like, “Okay, I can do this.”
You also realise you’ve been sleeping so well with all that extra space in the bed.
5. The “Wait, I Actually Miss Them” Phase
You’re in a good rhythm, but then you see an old couple holding hands at the shops, and suddenly, you miss your person so much it hurts.
It’s the little things – texting them about something funny and remembering they’re not online, eating dinner alone, not having them there for the small daily moments.
This is when time starts dragging.
6. The Countdown Begins
At some point, the deployment starts winding down, and suddenly, you need everything to be perfect for their return. The house gets a deep clean, you buy new sheets, and you may or may not stress about looking like a complete gremlin after months of survival mode.
Excitement and nerves hit hard. You wonder if they’ll notice the DIY haircut you gave yourself at 2am.
7. The Reunion (aka, The Awkward Excitement)
You spot them, your heart races, you hug like you’ve been in a movie montage… and then you realise reintegration is a thing. You’re used to running the show solo, and suddenly, there’s another adult in the house again.
It’s amazing, but also an adjustment. The bed feels too small now. They load the dishwasher wrong. You love them, you missed them, but you also need a minute to get used to sharing space again.
Deployment Is a Wild Ride – And You’re Doing Amazing
Every deployment is different, but the emotional stages? They’re weirdly predictable. One minute you’re independent and thriving, the next you’re crying at a Spotify playlist. And through it all, you adapt, you manage, and you get through it – even when it feels impossible.
So, if you’re in the thick of it, just know: whatever stage you’re in, you’re not alone. You’re going to be ok. And if all else fails? Eat the snacks, nap when you can, and remember – you get the entire bed to yourself tonight.
