Enlisting in the Australian Defence Force (ADF) is a significant step – not only for those taking the oath but also for those of us back home who are standing by them. Understanding the path ahead can take a little of the load off when your partner or family member receives that certificate and steps into what will now be referred to as Defence, or military, life.
1. The Emotional Rollercoaster (it’s the real deal)
As soon as your person decides to accept that uniform, prepare for a whirlwind of emotions. You’ll be overwhelmed with pride, but the goodbyes and long stretches of silence will also test you. You’ll hear the terms “resilient” and “adaptable” used to describe you, and your family, and while it will often feel like a slap in the face with a wet fish, you also learn to embrace the definitions of these words.
From the outset, start to lean on the community/ies around you; your fellow military partners and families can be an unparalleled support system.
2. Staying Informed Throughout Their Training
You’ll want to stay updated during their training, and in the early days those updates are when your emotions are often at the highest.
I get it.
While it’s tough to predict communication frequency (depending on their service, they may not have access to phones or computers for 2-4 weeks from the time they arrive into training), patience becomes your new best mate. Recruits undergo rigorous schedules, and are literally in their ‘break down to build up’ phase. They’re adjusting to their new military expectations, and for many nights during initial training they’ll start early, and work until late (45am rises, full schedules all day with exercise, training, education, lessons, through to 10-11pm bedtime).
It’s this time that every letter or call becomes precious – cherish these nuggets of connection.
3. Navigating The Changes At Home
Your daily routines are in for an overhaul! You’ve dropped them off at the recruitment centre, watched them commit their oath, and then waved them goodbye as they get on the bus heading to their training destination.
Now what? Over the next 9-12 weeks embrace all the things you need to distract you if you need.
Know that it’s ok to experience some sad periods – this is an adjustment for you as much as them.
From dealing with finances – to managing holidays/events/schools alone, flexibility becomes your middle name.
This is also a time for some really solid personal growth.
What hobbies, or learning opportunities, or career changes have you been thinking about? Now is as good a time as any to lean into them.
4. Learning The Jargon
So much lingo, and it will seep into conversations. Phrases like ‘AAFCANS’, ‘PACMAN’ and ‘URF‘ will become common language. Grasping these terms can bridge gaps in conversations and help you feel connected to their world. They’ll also make you a little bit crazy some days, and other days when you’re dealing with someone like TOLL, or DFMS, you’ll feel like an absolute boss!
5. What Happens Next?
Life after enlistment isn’t just about training exercises, deployments and and bases galore. It’s a unique lifestyle where resilience, adaptability, and strength are overused terms, but they describe us to a tee.
There will be plenty of negativity, but I encourage you to embrace it as a shared adventure. This is a journey together — one packed with new friends at each posting, new experiences and places to explore, and challenges that’ll prove you are stronger than you thought.
This is a shared path of courage, commitment, and change. Walk it with grace, self compassion and curiosity, and you’re not alone in it. There are thousands of us across the country (and globe) that are in the trenches with you.
From enlistment to beyond!
