Let’s not sugar-coat it, this life can be a lot.
Frequent moves, solo parenting, interrupted sleep, unpredictable schedules… and that’s before you’ve even had your first coffee.
However, you deserve care, too.
These 30 simple ideas are designed for real Defence partners with full plates, tired brains, and zero time for fluffy self-care trends that don’t actually fit into your life.
You don’t need to do all 30.
You don’t need to do them perfectly.
But maybe there’s one in here that feels like a little sigh of relief.

30 Low-Lift, High-Impact Ways to Look After You
Step outside for 10 minutes
Walk, breathe, sit in the sun, whatever you can do where you are. Fresh air is medicine.
Create a little “move day” ritual
Same mug, same tea, same playlist = a sense of home, no matter where you land.
Use deep breathing like a panic button
Three slow breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Game changer.
Mute or unfollow accounts that leave you feeling “less than”
Seriously. Curate your scroll to feel better, not worse.
Schedule a no-pressure chat with a friend
Not every call needs to be deep. A voice note or a meme exchange totally counts.
Say yes to a Defence partner event (even if it’s just once)
Sometimes one shared eye-roll about DHA or Toll is all it takes to feel less alone.
Declutter one drawer
Not your whole house. Just one drawer. Clarity starts small.
Make your morning routine stupidly simple
One cup of something hot. One quiet moment. That’s it.
Host a casual BBQ with other Defence families
Chips, snags, paper plates. Make it zero pressure. Maximum connection.
Stretch for five minutes while the kettle boils
We’re not reinventing the wheel here, just gently oiling it.
Start a hobby you can take with you
Think portable and satisfying. Journaling, crochet, sketching, reading, puzzles.
Actually use those ADF support services
They’re there for a reason. Employment help, counselling, financial support – it’s okay to ask.
Set one small goal just for you
A book to read. A walk to take. A thing to finish. Something that’s yours.
Watch a nostalgic Aussie show or movie
Blue Heelers, Kath & Kim, The Castle – whatever brings comfort.
Keep a little gratitude list
Don’t force it. But when you can, note down the good stuff.
Volunteer somewhere that fills your cup
Connection. Purpose. Getting out of the house. Big wins all round.
Plan something fun for your next “together” time
It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just intentional.
Check out the Partner Employment Assistance Program
If career gaps are getting you down, this can help bridge the gap.
Wind down like you’re parenting yourself
Warm drink. Dim lights. Gentle bedtime. No doom scrolling.
Visit a local market just for fun
No agenda. Just wander, browse, and maybe grab something fresh or local.
Try 2 minutes of quiet before the chaos begins
Sit on your bed. Close your eyes. Let your brain reboot.
Limit how often you check the news
Once a day is enough – if at all. Protect your peace.
Invest in one thing that travels well and brings comfort
A blanket, diffuser, coffee machine, or fave mug. It’s the little anchors that count.
Listen to something that feeds your brain
A podcast, audiobook, or playlist that makes you feel seen or sparked.
Join a Defence partner Facebook group
Even just to lurk and nod along. You’re not alone.
Celebrate the tiny wins
Made a doctor’s appointment? Sorted lunchboxes? Survived the day? You legend.
Make a corner of your home feel yours
A chair, a candle, a blanket. A soft place to land.
Book that counselling session
Open Arms, RSL Lifecare, Mates4Mates, Soldier On. No shame. Big strength.
Say yes to a community event (even if you don’t know anyone)
It might be awkward. Or it might be the connection you’ve been missing.
Take it one day at a time
Military life is a marathon. And some days, just being is enough.
Self-care doesn’t have to look like bubble baths and green smoothies (though if that’s your vibe, go for it).
Sometimes, self-care is:
- Saying no
- Having toast for dinner
- Going to bed early
- Asking for help
- Laughing at the chaos instead of crying (or doing both)
Whatever season you’re in, please remember, you matter here, too.
Your rest matters. Your joy matters. Your identity matters.
