Deployments ask a lot of us. The daily juggle doubles, the silence of empty nights gets louder, and the uncertainty sits like a weight you can’t put down. It’s no wonder mental health takes a hit.
You don’t need to “power through” or pretend you’re fine. What helps is giving yourself permission to care for your wellbeing in ways that are realistic, flexible, and kind.
Create routines that anchor you
Structure gives stability when everything else feels shaky. A morning walk, journaling before bed, or setting a weekly coffee date with a friend can stop the days from blurring. Keep routines simple – they don’t have to be perfect, just consistent.
Build connection in your own way
Yes, communication with your partner matters, but don’t pressure yourself to keep up constant contact. Sometimes messages won’t get through, or time zones won’t line up. Create meaningful rituals instead – sending letters, making a “deployment playlist,” or sharing photos of everyday life. Beyond your partner, lean into community. Join a Defence partners’ group, or connect with a friend who gets it.
Lower the bar at home
You’re one person doing the work of two. Some things will slide, and that’s okay. Let the washing pile up now and then, keep meals simple, and accept that “good enough” is more than enough right now.
Move your body, rest your mind
Exercise doesn’t need to be hardcore – it can be stretching in the lounge room, walking the dog, or dancing in the kitchen. Movement helps shake off stress. Equally, rest isn’t a luxury. Protect your sleep by winding down with a routine that signals “day’s done.”
Have a plan for the hard days
Some days will hit harder – birthdays, anniversaries, unexpected news. Make a list now of small things that comfort you: calling a trusted friend, ordering takeaway, watching a favourite show. Think of it as your “deployment survival kit.”
Know when to reach out
If the weight feels too heavy, speak up. Reach for professional support – a counsellor, GP, or Defence family services. Asking for help is strength, not failure.
Deployments are tough, and they’ll never be easy. But you don’t have to get through them alone, and you don’t have to sacrifice your mental health in the process. Small, consistent acts of care add up, and they’ll carry you until that reunion hug finally comes.
