Parenthood is a beautiful and rewarding experience that brings immense joy and fulfillment to many people; but it can also be a challenging journey that can leave us feeling like we’ve lost a part of ourselves in the process. The truth is that parenthood can have a significant impact on a our identity, and it’s important to recognise and address this loss.
Before having children, many people had careers, hobbies, and social lives that defined them and gave them a sense of purpose. But once they become parents? These aspects of their lives can take a backseat to their new role as a caregiver
It can be difficult to reconcile the person we were before with the person we are now.
Over time, this can (and let’s face it, often it does) lead to a loss of identity. We may feel like we’ve lost a part of ourselves in the process of becoming a parent. We may struggle to remember what we used to enjoy doing or what made us unique.
This can lead to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and even depression.
It’s important to note that the loss of identity in parenthood is not inevitable, nor is it a reflection of our love for our child/ren. It’s a natural part of the transition to parenthood, and many people experience it. However, there are steps that can be taken to prevent or address it.
One of the most important things we can do is to prioritise self-care. This means taking the time to do things that bring us joy and fulfillment, whether that’s exercising, reading, or pursuing a hobby. It also means taking care of our physical and mental health, whether that’s through getting enough sleep (as a mum who had a babe that would wake every 40 minutes through the night for his first 8 months of life, and still at 8 years old wakes many nights, I know that this can be a kick in our exhausted guts), eating nutrious food, and seeking professional help if needed.
It’s also important for us to seek support from others who understand what we’re going through. Talking to other parents, whether in person or online, can be incredibly helpful. By sharing experiences and providing support, we can help each other navigate the challenges of parenthood, it can provide a sense of camaraderie and validation that can help us feel less alone in our struggles.
It’s important for us to recognise and acknowledge this loss of identity.
It’s okay to mourn the person we were before we became a parent. It’s also important for parent’s to make time for ourselves and to prioritise their own needs and desires.
It’s important to remember that parenthood is not the only part of a person’s identity. We can be a parent and also a partner/spouse, a friend, a professional, or a creative individual. By embracing all aspects of our identity, we can find a sense of balance and fulfillment in her life.
Please remember – the loss of identity in motherhood is a common and very real experience. It’s important for us as parents to recognise and acknowledge this loss, and to make time for ourselves and our own needs. Seeking support from others (and letting go of the stigma surrounding accepting professional help) can also be helpful in navigating this challenging journey. With time and self-care, we can find a way to balance our new role as a parent with a new, fresh sense of identity and purpose.
