Moving for Defence can be exciting, but it can also be lonely.
A new posting often means leaving behind friends, familiar routines, trusted services and the people who already know your family. Then you arrive somewhere new and have to work out where everything is, how the area works and who your people might be.
That takes time.
You do not need to build a whole new social circle in the first few weeks. A few familiar faces can make a big difference.
Start with Defence community connections
Defence family events, local information sessions and community groups can be an easy place to meet people who understand postings, exercises, time apart and the general unpredictability of Defence life.
Check local Defence Member and Family Support information, community centres, social groups and local Defence family pages to see what is active in your posting location.
You do not need to attend everything. Pick one thing that feels manageable.
Look beyond Defence too
Some of the strongest friendships you make during a posting may have nothing to do with Defence.
School, daycare, sport, work, volunteering, local classes and neighbourhood groups can all help you build connections that are separate from your partner’s workplace.
That can be especially valuable when units are busy, people post out, or you simply want part of your life to feel civilian.
Use the everyday moments
You do not always need an organised event.
Chat to another parent at school pickup. Say hello to someone at the playground. Ask a neighbour where they recommend getting coffee or taking the kids.
Small conversations are often how familiarity starts.
Be the person who follows up
If you meet someone you get along with, send the message.
Ask if they want to grab a coffee, take the kids to the park or go for a walk.
It does not have to become a close friendship. Sometimes having one person you can message when you are new to an area is enough.
Give yourself time
Some postings click quickly. Others take months before you feel settled.
You may find a close group straight away, or you may end up with a mix of Defence friends, civilian friends and people you know through your children, work or community.
There is no correct way to build your support network.
Start small, keep showing up where it feels right, and let relationships develop from there.
About this information
Boots Back Home is an independent resource for Australian Defence families and is not affiliated with or endorsed by the Australian Department of Defence, the Australian Defence Force, Defence Housing Australia or the Department of Veterans’ Affairs.
Defence policies, benefits, services and eligibility requirements can change and individual circumstances differ. Where a decision depends on an entitlement, condition of service, housing arrangement or Defence policy, check the current official information or contact the relevant Defence service before making financial or family decisions.
