I never thought I’d live a life built around uniforms, rosters, and relocations—but here we are.
What started as “just a job” for my husband turned into a lifestyle for our whole family. One that has shaped how I parent, how I work, how I show up, and how I’ve learnt to stay steady in the midst of constant change.
This is our Defence journey – one that began with me as a police wife and now continues as a RAAF partner, raising a family and building a business while holding the fort at home.
It started in blue…
Our story begins with a navy-blue uniform, night shifts, and a phone I never let out of my sight. My husband was in the police force for nearly a decade, and if you know, you know – it’s not just a 9–5 job. It’s a lifestyle built around shift work, emotional fatigue, and a very real undercurrent of fear that never fully goes away.
Back then, we were just trying to keep our heads above water. I worked full-time, studied, ran our household, kept friendships alive where I could, and raised our tiny humans – mostly solo. I didn’t have language for it at the time, but I was already doing the mental gymnastics that so many Defence and frontline families know all too well.
The roster ruled our lives. The fatigue wore us both down.
And as the Covid lockdowns that surrounded us in the Melbourne region lifted, we received an offer to take over a family business. We sold everything – our home, our possessions.
…and what happened there could never have been expected.
We were misinformed with everything – from financials, to expectations, to the reality of what we were walking into. We worked hard; really hard. We were living rurally, dealing with goannas that attacked our dogs, in fear of the 1080 baiting, snakes that loved our nursery (fair call – I loved it, too), La Nina rains that flooded the tin shed that we lived in multiple times (let’s not talk about how much we lost with mould), regular power outages (which meant no water either), and so much more in just 6 months.
We were homeschooling our boys alongside it, and as a family we had become miserable. All 6 of us (4 humans, 2 dogs) were shells of ourselves.
Next stop: Defence Recruitment Office.
When my husband told me he was thinking about joining the RAAF, I had mixed feelings.
Hopeful, because it felt like we were getting a second chance to build a life with more stability.
Terrified, because change, again.
Exhausted, because we were already stretched thin.
But also – quietly optimistic.
What I didn’t expect was that the transition would require a full identity shift – for both of us. I went from being a police wife who knew the terrain to a business co-owner to a Defence partner who was brand new to the language, the acronyms, the structure, the expectations. Suddenly, we were learning how to be a military family.
With just 7 weeks from his application to enlistment, it was a whirlwind of action.
The Move That Changed Everything
Our first posting took us far from home – and everything familiar.
New town, new school, new routines, no village. I was solo parenting, homeschooling the kids and staying between family homes during his training, and trying not to crumble under the weight of starting from scratch.
But something just clicked about 2 weeks in.
We stopped chasing normal and started creating our own version of it.
I found routines that worked for us (even while we spent 51 nights in temporary accommodation).
I found peace in slow mornings, backyard picnics, and tiny pockets of joy.
I stopped trying to be who I was before – and started learning who I was now.
Business in the Background
While he trained, I quietly built something of my own.
I’d already worked online, but Defence life solidified my why. I needed a business that could move with me. That respected my energy. That worked around deployments and solo parenting and sick kids and unread inboxes and the low-battery version of me.
Now, I run that business.
And I help other business owners do the same – create calm behind the scenes, clarity in their daily operations, and a way of working that fits real life.
What I’ve Learnt
Being a Defence partner isn’t something you do – it’s something you live.
It’s in the way you celebrate milestones on FaceTime.
It’s in the way your child hugs their dad like he’s been gone for a year… even if it’s only been a month.
It’s in the strength you didn’t know you had until you had no choice but to stand up alone.
It’s in the softness you cling to because you refuse to harden.
This journey has tested me, stretched me, and grown me in ways I never expected.
And while I wouldn’t wish some of the hard parts on anyone… I also wouldn’t trade what we’ve built.
Because in between the roster changes, the relocations, and the reunions – there’s a family here.
There’s a business.
There’s a life.
And it’s ours.
